Woke up with this thought in my head. I suppose it's been there for long, but I think yesterday I got.. maybe a wakening from reading a blog and talking to Milja about our plans for the future. Even though I always wanted that house and that family and all that, I just woke up thinking What Do I whant with my life? I always loved traveling and seeing and learning. I whant that today.
Where do I go?
What do I do?
How do I do it?
And... When do I do it?
I mean, I know I can still do that if I get that family, but will I be able to? A family does take a lot of time, and alot of money. What if I'll give up all my dreams, friends and... what I whant?
I know it shounds extremly selfish. But maybe I have to be that now to be able to be a good mother and wife? Feels like all I do is to give, maybe its time to take? Do what I whant. A year in America is alot of time if you whant what i whant. But at the same time, it dosen't feel like enough. I whant to see it all! In America and the rest of the world. I wanna help it to get better.
I wanna help stop the anger in the world, I wanna stop animal cruelty, I wanna help the nature, I wanna visit Chompoo, Prin, Anne and evetyone else in Thailand, Milja in Serbia, the Japanese gardens, learn how to surf in Australia, watch the castles in Germany and Schwiterland, pick American blueberries, eat pizza in Italy.... You see the point.
How do I do it?
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